Hey everyone, I’m Alex I'm all about technology, photography, and creating things that make life easier (or at least look cooler). Whether it’s coding an app, designing a website, or experimenting with Blender animations, I’m always working on some kind of project. I thrive on making ideas come to life—especially when it comes to Apple, Google, and everything UI-related.
But enough about me. Let’s talk about two of my most interesting friends: Jack Learmond-Criqui and Maxwell Armitstead—a duo that never fails to keep life entertaining, whether it’s through athletic dominance, questionable tech decisions, or just being chaotic in general. Jack Learmond-Criqui: The Fútbol Star, Track Sprinter, and Accidental PC Killer
Jack LOVES fútbol and track. If you need someone to outrun you, outmaneuver you, or just generally make you feel slow, Jack’s your guy. But if you need someone to handle computer hardware… well, maybe call me instead.
Here’s a true story about Jack that will forever haunt the tech world:
One day, in a moment of scientific curiosity (or just complete chaos), Jack put his CPU into water. Yes, you read that correctly. The brain of the computer—the most essential piece—was submerged in H2O. The reason? That part is still unclear. The result? A fried CPU and a lesson learned: water and electronics don’t mix.
When he’s not attempting to drown computer components, Jack is an absolute menace in sports. He’s the guy who makes running look effortless while the rest of us are gasping for air. He’s got the speed, agility, and dedication to be a serious athlete, but gaming? That’s another story.
If you ever want a free win in Fortnite, just 1v1 Jack. I promise it’ll be the easiest victory royale of your life. Jack’s skill level in Fortnite is best described as “enthusiastic but tragic.” He plays like he’s still sprinting in real life, running straight into the enemy with no plan whatsoever. But hey, at least he tries.
Maxwell Armitstead: The Tallest, Strongest, and Most Unmovable Force on the Football Field
If you ever find yourself in a football game and suddenly feel like you hit a brick wall, there’s a 99% chance it was Maxwell. This man is an absolute UNIT on the football field. He plays lineman, and trust me, you’re not getting past him.
While most of us have to use strength and technique, Maxwell simply exists—and that’s enough to dominate the field. He’s massive, quick, and built like a tank, and that’s what makes him one of the best at what he does. If a defensive player comes running at him? They’re going down. If he decides to push forward? Good luck stopping him. He could probably hold off an entire army with one hand and still have time to finish his lunch with the other.
When he’s not annihilating people on the football field, Maxwell is one of the chillest guys around. Despite his intimidating size, he’s actually a really cool dude. But on the field? It’s game over for anyone who thinks they can take him on.
Birthday June 24
Activities & Interests
Activities 1. Extreme Ironing
2. Cheese Rolling
3. Toe Wrestling
4. Ferret Legging
5. Chess Boxing
6. Wife Carrying
7. Underwater Hockey
8. Shin Kicking
9. Egg Throwing
10. Quidditch (But in Real Life)
11. Extreme Sitting
12. Bossaball
13. Cardboard Tube Dueling
14. The Worm Charming Championships
15. Dog Surfing
16. Competitive Slapping
17. Tuna Tossing
18. Sepak Takraw
19. Zorbing
20. Lawn Mower Racing
21. Kangaroo Boxing
22. Pillow Fighting League
23. Bog Snorkeling
24. Sepak Bola Api (Fireball Soccer)
25. 100m Carrying Beer Steins
26. Professional Tag
27. Ostrich Racing
28. Giant Pumpkin Kayaking
29. Sausage Racing
30. Snowball Fighting Championships
Interests Breaking Technology (By Accident, Of Course)
• Watching Jack put his CPU in water like it’s a goldfish
• Explaining to people why their “computer virus” is just 200 Chrome tabs open
• Fixing things that weren’t broken in the first place
Sports That Shouldn’t Be Real
• Competitive slapping, because nothing says athleticism like getting knocked out with a palm
• Cheese rolling, where gravity decides if you win or just eat dirt
• Extreme ironing, for those who love danger but also crisp shirts
Gaming (Or Just Watching Friends Be Terrible At It)
• Giving Jack a free Fortnite win just to be nice
• Watching people panic in horror games while I act like it’s a casual stroll
• Button mashing in fighting games and pretending it’s strategy
Creative Genius (Or Absolute Chaos, You Decide)
• Designing apps that I’ll probably never finish
• Making websites that are way too polished for projects no one asked for
• Trying to make a simple Blender animation and somehow summoning the void
Random Useless Skills
• Knowing exactly when the microwave will beep without looking
• Hitting the perfect parking spot every time and acting like it’s no big deal
• Typing ridiculously fast and still making typos in every single text message
Ultimate Friendship Moments
• Watching Maxwell bulldoze people on the football field like a human wrecking ball
• Roasting Jack for being the only person in history to water-cool a CPU without an actual cooling system
• Coming up with ridiculous ideas that somehow turn into actual projects
